Thursday, August 28, 2008

A Fresh Look at One Church - Link

If you've read any of my posts before, you're probably aware of the fact that I am a devout believer that organized religion has an incredibly negative impact on the functioning of this nation. I don't care if people believe in God or not, it's just that such belief has no place in our government.

I say this to give purpose to the following post. It's really, really funny. And I assume that it can't be real - just look at the photo of the Reverend Moonjava (at right). And read the text below.

Here's the link...

The staff here at Highview would like to thank everyone who attended Save a Nonbeliever Day on Saturday and helped make it a resounding success!

The church added 11 new members to its roster, and we look forward to seeing our new brothers and sisters in Christ every Wednesday night and Sunday morning, eager and willing to donate lavishly to the organization responsible for the salvation of their eternal souls.

It is however, my sad duty to announce the excommunication of member Roberta Pugilist Tritonsrear-Logsdon, nee Riggs. As many of you aware, she has been warned repeatedly over the years to curb her sinful and disruptive behavior at church-sponsored events. Unfortunately, it has been uncovered that she spent the days preceding our Save a Nonbeliever Day engaged in conduct unbecoming a good Christian and produce consumer.

Accordingly, we ask that anyone who partook of Ms. Tritonsrear-Logsdon’s zucchini and eggplant salad to submit themselves to blood tests being given (free of charge) following this Sunday’s sermon. Additionally, we have been told by doctors and our lawyer to ask said congregation members to refrain from any and all marital relations with their spouses until cleared by our doctor.

No comments: